[If you're here from E, Myself, and I, welcome! I'm Johanna, 30something mom to a 17-month-old toddler, and a Minnesotan.]

• Sometimes I embarrass myself with how crabby I get about my, let’s face it overabundant, blessings. Tonight I was feeling so down about how I feel like I cannot keep our house clean, despite my best efforts, and I was on the brink of a spiral about it, but luckily I was able to check myself.

• We are finally back in cloth diapers.  I’ve used Grapefruit Seed Extract in the wash a few times; should I use it every wash going forward to make sure the yeast doesn’t come back? (This isn’t so much a confession as a way for me to ask.)

• I had the most vivid dream last night that I was nursing a newborn baby. It was so real. Oh, how I wish.

• I don’t know if it’s because I was 34 before I became a mom, or because we waited for awhile, or if it’s just my decisive personality, but there are (so far) very few things about the way that I parent that are different from the way I’d planned/anticipated. Except one: I always said I’d never let me kid wear dirty or stained clothes. Hahahaha! Harry is a messy eater, and he goes to daycare, and he loves to be outside. Stains? They’re just a way of life around here. (That said, I don’t let him go out/out in clothes with stains. Just to daycare and around the house.)

• I am so behind on Project Life. I’m pretending like the mess on our dining room table isn’t really there.

• I pray and praise on my commute home from work, and I sometimes “write” blog posts as I drive. Earlier today I read an emotive post written by a birth mom and a beautiful post from an adoptive dad, and they both made me feel a lot of feelings, but sometimes I spill it out out loud to myself, (and to God), in my car and the words never make it here.

• Being a working mom is hard sometimes; too little time for everyone. (Mostly myself.) But it’s only when I let in the noise of the world that I question it. When it’s quiet, when it’s just me and God, I know that I am right where He wants me, doing the exact work He’s created me to do.

What do you need to let out?

[Linking up again this week with E, Myself & I's Midweek Confessions. If you're here for the first time from E's blog, welcome!]

• Whenever I mop the floor, I make Aaron look at the dirty cloth. Look! Look! I say. He is never as impressed as I am with how dirty our floors were. (I also do this when I vacuum. I make him look at how full the canister is.)

• It takes me like three days to recover from DST. I’m too old to be losing an hour of my life!

• I have fallen way behind of my Draw Something games, but I’m still playing! Just behind. Y’all took me up on it when I said to start a game with me!

• Whenever we see that new Corn Growers propaganda commercial about how corn syrup is the same as sugar, Aaron and I quote that Saturday Night Live skit with from a few years ago. “Hmm, this is a real dilemma for me. Trust SAHM Debbie who is drinking wine at 10 am, or scientists … .”

• The rash saga continues, and I am in such a spiral about it. Aaron talked to the nurse yesterday, and almost all of her suggestions were things that, as a two-work-outside-the-home family, are impossible for us to do during the week. (Nap diaper free; baking soda baths two to three times a day; don’t use wipes, just warm water.) It’s a pretty crummy feeling. But I am trying to stay positive, and I think we are finally on the way out of the rashy woods.

• There are still times, even almost 16 months later, that just the sight of Harry brings tears to my eyes. Last night we walked to the mailbox (such an adventure when you’re 1!), and he stopped to look at something just as the wind picked up. His hair blew back and he looked up at me and grinned and tears pricked my eyes. I think this kid is pretty amazing.

Your turn.

[Linking up again this week with E, Myself & I's Midweek Confessions. If you're here for the first time from E's blog, welcome!]

• Even though I know they’re spam and not directed at me, sometimes the spam comments hurt my feelings. Worst post ever? Mean!

• Being in charge of someone else’s medical choices is by far the hardest part of parenting thus far. I second guess myself a lot, and worry, and I hate that I do, but I do. I quite often repeat to myself “Fear not, little flock.” (Luke 12:32)

To be honest, I should care as much about my OWN health/body/wellbeing as I do about his.

• My house is a disaster. If someone came over right now, I’d have to swear them to secrecy. This is what happens when you go away for the weekend. I’m also in a lull about caring about my house. I go through phases sometimes where it just doesn’t bother me, and then suddenly, I must clean all the things immediately.

• I am newly addicted to Draw Something. Draw with me at johannaprice. My name is Simon and I love drawing! (You probably have to be at least 30 to get that reference.) I’m also irrationally irritated that my extra colors are suddenly gone. I need a wide pallete for my stick figures!

• I hate disposable diapers. Tired of them. We had our first ever blow out last week, and it was way grosser than any cloth diaper I’ve ever had to spray or wash. Sigh. Someday this rash will go away, right? Please say yes. Otherwise, I’m going to bend time and get this kid on the potty tomorrow.

What do you need to confess today?

1. I had two moles biopsied on Monday, and I was convinced—convinced—that one of them would come back as a melanoma. (Well, first I was convinced that she was going to want to biopsy at least five.) One came back totally normal and the other slightly atypical, but no further action needed. Huge relief, but not exactly helping the I-am-not-a-hypochondriac defense I am trying to mount against my husband’s accusations.

2. He may be doing exactly what he should be doing at this age, but every time Harry busts out with a new word (today was “bye bye”), I feel like he’s just performed magic. It’s amazing to me. He speaks!

3. Baby names. They are my favorite conversation topic. Are you expecting? Let’s chat. (That’s not so much a confession as a request.)

4. Harry’s been fighting a diaper rash for about a month (off and on) and I about to give up on cloth diapers. Y’all. First it was in his groin area, and it cleared up in disposables, so I stripped in hot water and then used 1/2 c of bleach. But then he developed a new and different rash (while in disposables), so I decided to wait that out so I could use lots of cream before going full time back in cloth. We were using cloth at night, and everything seemed okay. He was in cloth all day yesterday, and the rash came back in his groin area. Ugh. What is frustrating is maybe it’s just teething? (He cut two teeth last week and is working on two more.) But it makes me want to just quiiiiiiiiiiiit. (But I won’t, because we have too much invested in CDs, and I hate disposables.) Moving on.

5. I am really horrible about responding to people. Email, voicemail. Horrible. Sometimes I’ll read an email and think about what I’m going to write back, but I want to dedicate more time to it than I have at that moment, so I just respond in my mind. And then days pass and I realize, whoops, I never actually responded. This is a flaw, and I’m sorry. But please know that I write really great responses to you in my mind. Does that count for something?

6. Sometimes I have a really satisfying day—nothing special or out of the ordinary happens especially, but I just end the day feeling just really, really content. Like I am right where I am supposed to be, doing right what I  am supposed to be doing. It’s a good feeling, I have to say. Today was one of those days.