Workmanship

April 5, 2013 By 2 Comments

I have blogger’s block bad. I’m in that season where I give as much as I can to my kids, as much as I can to my job, and all of that equals out to giving not much of anything to everything else.

But every day the snow recedes; there is just a small patch now in the back, underneath the pines.

The sun stays up longer, and the baby sleeps deeper and I know eventually I’ll find my footing again.

I get myself in trouble when I forget that I’m already equipped. I can do this, because I can do anything when I allow God to lead me.

You can too.

 

 
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My Soul Will Sing

March 3, 2013 By 2 Comments

I think about my grandmother often, but even more lately. Yesterday would’ve been her 105th birthday. It is strange to me that someone born so long ago hasn’t been gone all that many years.

I remember her last days. How she was a 100-year-old woman, warm in her bed. I still remember how thin and tiny she looked the last time I saw her. How the skin on her hand was so thin it almost wasn’t there.

This morning in church we sang a song with lyrics that brought her quickly to mind and caused tears to quickly prick my eyes.

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end is near and my time has come
Still my soul will send your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more
- “10,000 Reasons,” Matt Redman

I know my MeMe had 10,000 reasons to praise Him. Her name, Josephine, means “Jehovah will increase.” I smile when I think of it, because in her case, it was literally true. Whenever we’d gather for holidays or birthdays, she’d remark in wonder that all those folks were there because of her and my PaPa. Seven children, 17 grandchildren, 30 great-grandchildren (at the time of her death), and even about half a dozen great-great-grandchildren.

My cousin Colleen and I both became moms around the same time. In those early days we would gratefully remind each other that at least we weren’t having to leave our little ones swaddled indoors to cry while we went out to milk cows at 4 am, and that our kids weren’t piled five to a bed, or that we didn’t have to wash our hair with rainwater.

Hers is a legacy of strength and just sheer perseverance.

And though our little Posey may not have Josephine’s blood running in her veins, this legacy is hers all the same.

We are shaped by the women who come before us, and for us mothers to daughters, we are shaped by the women who come after us as well.

I consider it a great privilege to be bookended in my life by two remarkable Josephines. One inspires me, loved me, provided for me, prayed for me, rocked me in her porch swing, my head in her lap, singing over me.

The other I have no doubt will challenge and refine me.

May I mother her well.

 
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Come Christmas

December 24, 2012 By 2 Comments

When you have a newborn, every day can feel like much of the same; a cycle of change, feed, comfort, sleep.

So in a lot of ways today feels like any other, though it’s not.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and we will celebrate new beginnings. The birth of a baby, love come into the world.

We have had a challenging month; Harry was sick for a week (with a fever for five days), I’ve had a cough for two weeks, and this baby and I, we’re still learning each other. There have been moments when I have despaired, I have to admit.

And in those moments, I’ve had this thought: I prayed for this.

I didn’t just pray for the fun happy moments of motherhood—the holding hands as we walk around our neighborhood, crunching snow looking at neighbors’ Christmas lights. The cookie making and evening snuggles. The coos and smiles and nuzzling heads. The Santa visits and lunches out with Grammy. Sleeping babies and twinkling lights on a tree.

I prayed for all of it, which includes fussy babies and whiny toddlers and fevers at 2 am. And my normally-screen-limited toddler watching so much TV that he asks for it every morning.

And what I need to remember—what I am telling you so that I will remember—is that because of Christmas, I am not alone in those hard moments. God is with me.

God came down, stepped into the world. This messy, scary, beautiful world. Jesus came so that God could be with us.

O come o come Emmanuel.

 

 
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Saying Bedtime Prayers with Your Toddler

July 31, 2012 By 4 Comments

 

Saying Prayers with Your Toddler

After book reading and a final drink of water, I turn off the lamp, switch the sound machine to “ocean,” and we say our prayers.

Harry sometimes lays back against me, or he sometimes sits facing me and smiles at me and pokes me in the eye.

We started this routine when Harry was about four months old. It has grown and expanded, and it is more personalized now that he is actually doing things that he may need forgiveness for. Ha!

It can feel awkward the first few times you pray on behalf of someone else, so I’m glad I practiced on him when he had no idea what I was saying. But even if you’ve never prayed with your child before, just start! They don’t care if you feel awkward. They just care that you’re modeling to them how to talk to their Father.

In Luke 11, one of the disciples asks Jesus how to pray. And the words that Jesus gives them are what we call today “The Lord’s Prayer.”

So these are the words I walk through with Harry nightly, adapting them for his toddler language and life. (I included the Lord’s Prayer here in italics for those who may not be familiar with it.)

Our Father
who art in heaven
hallowed by thy name

God, you are such a good God. You are a mighty God. A strong God. A wise God.

 

Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven

God please make things here on Earth the way you want them to be. Do what you do best. Make things right God.

 

Give us this day our daily bread

Thank you for giving me food to eat, water to drink, friends to play with, teachers to teach me, a warm (cool) house, and a safe place to sleep.

 

And forgive us our trespassers
as we forgive those who trespass against us

Please forgive mommy for being impatient [or if any of my friends hurt my feelings etc.]
And please forgive me if I made any unwise choices today [or if I didn't listen or if I got mad because I didn't get my way]

 

And lead us not into temptation.

Protect me, God. Keep me safe. Please watch over daddy, mommy, all my grandparents, [his birthmother and birthfather], and the rest of my birth family. [We have also started praying specifically for his future little sibling here too.]

Help me to grow in wisdom and stature like your son Jesus. And help me to love you with all my heart [I point to his heart], all my soul [I put my hand flat on his chest], and all my strength [I do muscle arms with him]. (We pray those exact words because Deuteronomy 6:5 is Harry’s life verse.)

We love you so much God.

Amen.

He now repeats back: Amen.

And it is the sweetest sound.

 

 
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Turning 36, Beach Day, and Other Random Things

July 1, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Oh hey, what’s up. This is just the crazy I-can-see-you-back-there-so-stop-pestering-your-sister mirror in our new-to-us minivan.

Blog

I turned 36 yesterday. That means that I have been writing online on since I was 24. (That’s a lot of life, y’all.)

Today we spent the day at a local lake with several of our favorite friend-families, and I left my phone in my bag, which means I have basically no pictures, but also means that I was disconnected and present. Good stuff.

But thankfully I did manage to take this one. Dad life.

Blog

Are you part of the #SheReadsTruth community? I hope so. It’s been such a boost to my daily Bible-reading time, and I love to flip through Instagram and view what other woman have journaled that day. Truly edifying.

Blog

So glad that Maggie & Kacia listened to the prompting and started this! I anticipate a big harvest.

Thank you for the well wishes as we start the adoption process again. It’s so much different this time around already; mostly because we’re different.

It’s hard to remember a time when I didn’t even dare to hope that we’d be parents. Hard to remember a time I corrected my mother every time she referred to our third bedroom as “the nursery.” (Which it became only seven months later.)

In June 2009, when I got pregnant, we started car shopping. But then we lost that baby and when it came time to actually purchase a car, I told Aaron that I wanted to drive something that I’d drive even if there was never a car seat in the back. I’d seen that poor woman on Oprah; the one who bought the minivan and five years later was still childless.

But yesterday when we became part of the swagger wagon demographic, I had no fear that we’d jinx our hopes for a second child. I don’t know the future, and I don’t dare to guess what God is up to, but my faith is bigger now, and I know that He is up to something. So I’m gonna get ready.

 
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