I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that I have one of the greatest moms in the world.

She is gorgeous on the outside, yes, but more importantly she is beautiful on the inside. My mom shines Christ, and it is what makes her so beautiful.

I could spend hours telling you all the things my mom has done for me (and continues to do), but now that I’m a mother myself, what stands out to me the most is the example she set with her attitude about motherhood.

I never got the sense that we were a bother or a bore or a chore. I never got the sense that she wished she’d made another choice or that she wished she could be somewhere or someone else. I knew, even as a very little girl, that my mom didn’t just love me because she was my mom, she loved being my mom.

I pray that I am able to show Harry that same attitude. That he knows that not only do I love him, I love being with him. I love being his mom.

I am so grateful.

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It’s been a nutty few weeks with sickness and alternate schedules and long hours, so this was the first Harry Friday in what feels like a long time where we had nothing on the agenda.

Harry woke up a bit early, and we snuggled in our bed while Aaron got ready for work.

Typically, we run errands in the morning, since he goes down for his nap between 12:30 and 1 pm, but since he woke up early, and I wasn’t feeling motivated to get myself ready for the day yet, I decided I’d let him nap before lunch. So we hopped in the car and went to our local Caribou for a breakfast date. He’s such a big boy now, he’ll sit in a chair and eat so well.

We shared a lemon bread and a yogurt, and he charmed everyone around us.

We stopped at the playground on our way home. For such a beautiful moning, I was suprised we were the only ones there, but it was nice to have the run of the place. He loves the playground!

He went down at 9 am without a peep, and napped for 2.5 hours, which allowed me to get started on laundry, do a few more chores, and get dressed. When he woke up, we went to Panera for lunch. He’s such a good dining companion. A messy companion, but good company.

After lunch I took him back to the kids’ hair place for another trim. It was still too long and, let’s face it, mullet-y in the back. So I had her trim it up even more.

He wasn’t a fan of the blowdryer this time.

There was frozen yogurt eating, and Target shopping, and playing outside with Scout:

And the best part — clean PJ’d boy reading (new!) books with daddy.

Some days are just good days, and this was one of them.

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[If you're here from E, Myself, and I, welcome! I'm Johanna, 30something mom to a 17-month-old toddler, and a Minnesotan.]

• Sometimes I embarrass myself with how crabby I get about my, let’s face it overabundant, blessings. Tonight I was feeling so down about how I feel like I cannot keep our house clean, despite my best efforts, and I was on the brink of a spiral about it, but luckily I was able to check myself.

• We are finally back in cloth diapers.  I’ve used Grapefruit Seed Extract in the wash a few times; should I use it every wash going forward to make sure the yeast doesn’t come back? (This isn’t so much a confession as a way for me to ask.)

• I had the most vivid dream last night that I was nursing a newborn baby. It was so real. Oh, how I wish.

• I don’t know if it’s because I was 34 before I became a mom, or because we waited for awhile, or if it’s just my decisive personality, but there are (so far) very few things about the way that I parent that are different from the way I’d planned/anticipated. Except one: I always said I’d never let me kid wear dirty or stained clothes. Hahahaha! Harry is a messy eater, and he goes to daycare, and he loves to be outside. Stains? They’re just a way of life around here. (That said, I don’t let him go out/out in clothes with stains. Just to daycare and around the house.)

• I am so behind on Project Life. I’m pretending like the mess on our dining room table isn’t really there.

• I pray and praise on my commute home from work, and I sometimes “write” blog posts as I drive. Earlier today I read an emotive post written by a birth mom and a beautiful post from an adoptive dad, and they both made me feel a lot of feelings, but sometimes I spill it out out loud to myself, (and to God), in my car and the words never make it here.

• Being a working mom is hard sometimes; too little time for everyone. (Mostly myself.) But it’s only when I let in the noise of the world that I question it. When it’s quiet, when it’s just me and God, I know that I am right where He wants me, doing the exact work He’s created me to do.

What do you need to let out?

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There is nothing more meta than bloggers blogging about blogging, but here I go.

Life has a way of happening, whether you blog about it or not, and life has certainly been happening around here.

The same day that Harry got his haircut (two weeks ago already!), he came down with a 103 degree fever, and sadly for us all: Hand, Foot, and Mouth disesase. Oh, it was miserable.

Post-fever bedhead:

I stayed home with him on Monday, and we snuggled and watched a lot (A LOT) of television:

By Wednesday, he had blisters on the outside of his mouth.

And by the weekend I HAD IT. Adults rarely catch HFM, but I do like to be special!

It was seriously awful. I felt like a monster, what with the throat blisters and all.

And then, because I’m a crazy person, it was time for our garage sale.

May 2 was our fourth anniversary (what!), and we celebrated by setting up for said garage sale. But at least there were cupcakes!

I was able to do a little garage sale-ing myself, and got Harry a slide for outside and a Little People barn. Not bad for $16.

On Saturday, my dad and stepmom came into town for a quick visit. Love how much my dad loves Harry. Harry has some devoted grandpas. Of that there is no doubt.

I am about a month behind in Project Life, and my house is a disaster. (Truth.) And of course it’s been nothing but crickets around here, this blog where I never blog.

I’ll do better. Maybe by June.

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The back of Harry’s hair was starting to look less cute babyish and more scraggly mullet, so we decided that it was time.

Haircut time.

We went to a kids’ haircut place, rather than just a regular salon, because I didn’t know how he’d do, and I wanted stylists who were used to crying kids, in case that’s the way it went.

Luckily, it didn’t.

(My only complaint is that each station had a little TV, which I asked her to turn off.)

It was pretty long!

She gave him a comb to hold, and had him look down at a toy when she trimmed the back. He was such a good little sport.

We wanted to keep it long, so we just asked her to shape it up and make sure the back wasn’t so scraggly.

He didn’t even mind the blow dryer:

Such a little man:

Now on to the next adventure:

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Harry dear, 17 months is here.

I say this every month, but every month it’s true: you’re so much fun!

You just love life. You are joyous. I’m grateful every day (every.day) that the three of us belong to each other.

So many new things this month; here are just a few.

You love to point out babies. If you see a baby on packaging or on a card or something, you point and say “Baby!” You also love to look at pictures of yourself and say “baby.” It is too much.

You’ve transitioned to the toddler room at daycare, and we also made a change in your weekly schedule. You now go to school three days a week (instead of four), and your grandma watches you here at home that fourth day.

The toddler room was a big change, but you’ve handled it beautifully. For one thing, they sleep on cots (cots!) and you took to it without much fuss. It’s also a more structured day with lessons and activities. But the best part is, you get to go outside every day (weather permitting) and play on the playground. Oh, how you love to be outside!

You and I take a walk to the mailbox every day when we get home, and if I try to make you go inside before you are ready, you let me know. Your daddy and I have taken to treating you like we treat Scout with having to spell the words o-u-t-s-i-d-e and w-a-l-k if either of you are around.

New words in your vocabulary:
shoe
hello (o?)
nose
thank you (dee do)

You don’t have too many new ones, but you’re using the ones you do know with increased frequency. And words that used to be partial (“mo”) are now said clearly and in full (“more”).

You’re also mimicking a lot; just last night you repeated me when I said “pretty,” as you were inspecting my necklace. You also love to copy my movements and facial expressions. You can do all the motions to “Wheels on the Bus,” even! (Our go-to song when you’re crabby or need distracting. Your daddy and I have even made up lyrics like … “the CB on the bus goes breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9, breaker 1-9.”)

New signs:
bath
Daddy
phone
bird

I am so glad that we decided to sign with you. It’s immensely helpful with communicating, and you’re to the point now where you are combining words and signs. Like you’ll say “more” and sign “please,” when you are requesting “more please.” I haven’t read any studies or followed any research about it, but I know it is helping you with language development. It has to be!

It’s hard to tell looking at these pictures, but you’re in a bit of a shy phase. Well, I’m assuming it’s a phase. It could just be that you’re shy! You don’t mind crowds (you love to run around the church lobby), as long as no one is honing in on you. As soon as someone you’re unfamiliar with pays attention to you or tries to talk to you, you either bury your face in my neck, or you drop to the ground and “hide.” Your daddy calls it your “fainting goat” move.

You still love music; we listen to it all the time, and I think I caught you singing the other day. We were in the car, and I was signing along to a worship song, and I noticed that you were piping up from the back trying to match me. You know me, I cried. I hope you are always quick to offer up songs of praise!

When we say your prayers at night, I of course still pray on your behalf. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time, Harry. That’s just the truth. I bumble along, and I trip over my words, but oh I hope God gives me the right words to pray for you and with you every day. And I pray that it will be as normal and natural to you as smiling; that talking to God will come as easily to you as laughter.

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

• Uses six words regularly — Yes. Many more than six.
• Enjoys pretend games — Does “I’m gonna get you” count? Then yes.
• Likes riding toys — Yes. You love the Y-Bike and this little train that your grandparents have.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

• Feeds doll — You love your little doll, but you’ve never tried to feed him.
• Speaks more clearly — Yes. Your words get clearer every day.
• Throws a ball underhand — No, but you have a wicked overhand throw.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

• Dances to music — Yes. You love to sway and bounce.
• Sorts toys by color, shape, or size — I haven’t seen you do a lot of sorting, but you know, for example, that your blocks go in a certain basket or that the Noah’s Ark Little People animals all belong together.
• Kicks ball forward — Yes. You also think it’s high comedy when the grown ups in your life kick a ball.

Can it ever be said enough? We love you. We. Love. You. I pray that no matter what life brings your way; no matter what pain, trouble, or trial, that you will always rest in that. First that God loves you; to hell and back, the Creator of the universe loves you and pursues you. And then that are two people in the world (and really, so many more) who love you full up all the way to your toes.

Here’s to month 18 my darling boy,

mama

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Shortly after I moved to Minnesota, I dropped my basket.

I didn’t write about it here, or anywhere really, because I was embarrassed. Here I was finally married, and I was so sad and lonely.

What made it even harder is that I really loved being married. I loved finally being with Aaron all the time. To building something real with him.

But I was in no way prepared for how much my life would change.

I try to not look at my Atlanta life through rose-colored glasses, but the reality is, I had a really (really) wonderful life. I was genuinely happy almost all of the time. Meeting Aaron just intensified that, and I was so excited to be married and be with him.

And while we thought about our marriage and not just our wedding—went to pre-marital sessions and asked the hard questions—what I didn’t give enough heart-prep to was what it would be like to leave behind everything else.

I went from a little 2-bedroom house that I rambled around in with my two dogs, a few miles from one of my best friends, and a short 20-minute back road commute to a job where I was valued and appreciated; close, loving friendships; an active volunteering schedule; and a church community that was my heart’s home to … none of that.

Between planning a wedding and packing up my entire house (and figuring out what to do with said house in a horrible real estate market), being in a long-distance relationship, and just living my daily life, I hardly let myself think about the fact that once I went to Florida, I wasn’t coming back home. I wasn’t going to be living there anymore. I wouldn’t be able to drive over to Sarah’s house during a scary storm, or go watch Adam trick-or-treat, or see Allison sing.

We went to Florida, all my friends and my family and my fiancee, and Aaron and I got married, and the next day we hung out at the pool and there were my Ohio friends and my Atlanta friends, and I realized that this was it. It wasn’t just my out-of-town guests that I was going to have to say goodbye to.

Aaron and I had a little mini-moon at the resort where we were married before driving back to Atlanta to pack up my house. We then made the drive north, through Ohio so that I could say goodbye to my dying grandmother, and on to my new state.

We arrived late on a Sunday night to the little basement apartment he’d be renting in his childhood home. We were to move to the upstairs, as soon as I could clean it and unpack. The very next day he went back to work, and there I was. A new wife in a little house way out of the country, with only dogs to talk to. I spent weeks turning that little house into our first home, cleaning like I’d never cleaned before.

It was beautiful, oh so beautiful. I tried to think of the pioneers who’d left behind everything to settle this land. But it was so hard.

About a month later I started a new job, and it was an hour drive each way. And as it turned out, my new job, where I was one of three employees in a little office building way out in a western suburb, was a very bad fit. (Very bad.)

Minnesotans are a strange breed. People here are friendly; it’s the land of Minnesota Nice, after all. But friendly in the sense that they’ll wave to you on the sidewalk and chat you up in the line at Caribou, but they don’t really want to be your friend. They have friends, thanks. They met in kindergarten. Their friend card is all full up.

I was in Atlanta for a hot minute before I had lifelong friendships. I walked into that city and was enveloped into a friend circle that I will likely never replicate.

Becoming a Minnesotan can be a lonely road.

So with all the change — new marriage, death of my last grandparent, a new house, a new job, new pets even — I got lost for awhile. And very sad.

I had to dig my way out, and I had to pray a lot (a lot) for deliverance. To be delivered from a job and situation that was crushing my spirit to something better. And for God to bring people in my life to be a true community to me. Turns out that there was one solution that was an answer to both.

Once we found a church to call home things got much better much faster. (And it would eventually lead me to a new job and new friends.)

At Harry’s first birthday party last November Aaron’s cousin asked, after not recognizing many of the people in the room, who everyone was. “My friends,” I told her. And it was a gift of a moment, straight from the Giver.

And I see now that those days drew Aaron and I closer together. Everything else was stripped away. We were starting a new life together in a very tangible way. I was hard on him in ways I deeply regret; expecting him to somehow magically replace everything else that I’d left behind.

And I was hard on myself. I didn’t give myself enough grace.

I thought of Ruth; did she whine and cry to Naomi that she missed her family, her home? No. Did she self medicate with Dairy Queen Buster Bars? No. After all, this was my choice. And I made it willingly and happily. It was what I wanted. But it was still okay for me to grieve my old life, and I should’ve let myself do it well; do it better. Do it with grace.

Instead I just thought that I was broken.

But it had to have been hard for Ruth. It’s not easy to go, even when you know you’re supposed to. It’s never easy. But Ruth was faithful, and God blessed her. Looking around now, almost four years later, it’s clear to me how He has blessed me too.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God,” Ruth 1:16. 

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[If you're here from The Mom Creative, welcome! If you'd like to get to know These Prices, please click on the "About" link above. I am new to Project Life. This is my second week blogging my progress. Week One here.]

The first week of April was a busy one, and with all the Easter activities I had to include TWO Design G inserts.

I also didn’t use anything from the Cobalt kit this week. I used an Easter sheet from Jillibean and cards from a 4×6 pack from W R Memory Keepers. I I wanted something springy, and the Jillibean sheet had a lot of cute little add ons.

Left side of the spread with Design G insert:

Left side of the spread:

On the bottom left is a piece of daycare artwork. It was an 8.5×11 sheet, so I clipped out a piece. I’ve been wanting a way to keep the occasional take-home art project, and I think Project Life is going to be a great way to hang on to some of Harry’s masterpieces.

First page of the insert:

Last Friday Harry and I met up with some friends at a local community egg hunt. I took a lot of pictures!

Inside of the two inserts:

I used little Smash sticky tabs on the sides of the inserts. (I love that picture with the bucket on his head! Such a goof.)

Back of the second insert + right page of the spread:

I liked that one picture of Harry in the ring sling that I included it twice! (In different crops.)

Right page of the spread:

The top left is the mailer that our church sent out about Easter services. The chevron paper is from the envelope. I loved it, and thought this was a nice way to preserve it. (And get some pretty pattern and color into the page.) The scripture card is from the program for Easter service (which we attended on Saturday afternoon).

I’m still getting my footing, but I’m really enjoying it. It’s such a simple (or can be!), easy way to memory keep a week at a time. And I like that it has forced me to start printing images. Even if they’re “just” camera photos, they’re your memories, so print them!

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There is a shelf in our basement full of scrapbooks. Books overflowing with college memories and scenes from my first few years out of school. They are mostly just snapshots glued to pages with inside jokes scribbled in marker, but they are priceless treasures all the same.

But in recent years, it’s been hard to find the time. I have a half finished scrapbook of a mission trip I took in 2006, and I’ve only made headway on our wedding scrapbook because of two dedicated Saturdays within the last few months. (Our fourth anniversary is in May.) I have a bin in an upstairs closet with mementos and prints of Harry’s first year, just waiting for the time.

So when I saw some of my favorite bloggers like Kayla Aimee posting images of something called “Project Life, it mostly went by me without much notice. Until I saw some samples of pages on Kathleen’s blog, snapshots of her life in that moment, put down on paper and in page protectors for posterity, and I realized—I can do that. I can print pictures and keep track of things a week at a time.

So here we are, already April, but I’m getting on this train.

(I was going to just start and move forward and not worry about the previous 12 weeks, but after thinking about it, I’m starting my book with the week of Feb. 25, because that was when we went up North, and I wanted to have that trip recorded. But I’m working backward slowly, so this post is the most current week.)

What I am using:

• Cobalt Kit
• Variety Pack of Becky Higgins page protectors (because Design A is sold out)
• Design G inserts (which are 10×12 instead of 12×12)
• A whole mess of assorted letters and papers that I’ve collected over the years
• Photos printed via Snapfish at Walgreen’s

My first spread:

Left page of the spread:

Since I mostly take pictures with my phone and upload to Instagram, I had to be creative with printing. The picture of Eller (our bulldog) on the top right is what an IG photo looks like if you just send it to Walgreen’s. They just randomly crop it to make the aspect ratio 4×6. It worked for that image, but for most of them it wouldn’t. So for the middle row of photos, I made a 4×6 diptych in Lightroom and then cut them in half. Because IG pictures are square, it leaves white space, but I like the faux Polaroid look, and it leaves room for captions. For the bottom pictures, I placed one IG image on a 4×6 template. In the “roar” picture, I cut the image out and placed it on an insert from the kit.

I actually did have quite a few real-camera photos this week, since we went to the zoo on Sunday. So I used a Design G insert to include them.

Front of the Design G insert:

Back of the insert:

Back of the insert + right page of the spread:

Right page of the spread:

My main goal with starting this project is to get photos to print, and to document our life in print and on paper, not just electronically. (And to use up the bin full of scraps and assorted papers and letters I have from when I scrapbooked regularly!)

So my pages will never be the fanciest, or the most creative. But if they get me an (almost) year’s worth on memories on paper and in a book, then I will have succeeded!

Linking up with Jessica at The Mom Creative:

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• I ordered a Project Life kit last night, and so I’m currently stalking other people’s spreads for ideas/inspiration. But I’m afraid I’m going to get it and it’ll just sit in boxes on my table and I’ll never print any pictures. Hold me accountable? (I’m going to try to link up with Jessica at The Mom Creative on Tuesdays, but first I have to figure out if I’m going to just start with week 1 or try to go back and fill in the past 12 and have a complete 2012 book.)

• Aaron and I have been really good about not eating out much lately, except this week we’ve had take out almost every night. Some weeks you just gotta get by.

• We got rid of cable TV a year ago. We will never go back. For $16/month we get Hulu Plus and Netflix streaming, and it has every show we’d want to watch. And you don’t even need DVR anymore, either. I love it.  If you’re still paying for cable, quit it!

• The Rash Saga of 2012 may finally be coming to a close. We’re still using our GroVia shells + disposable inserts at daycare, but he’s been sleeping in cloth (with fleece liners) this week. So far so good. Once I’m sure it’s gone and we’re back in cloth for a few successive days, maybe I’ll write about it. Hateful rash.

• I … have fallen way behind on my Draw Something games. I’m sorry. I forgot my iPad at work a few times, and then it was just all downhill from there.

• Harry and I met up with some friends at the zoo on Sunday, and while I did actually take real pictures with a real camera, my favorite is from my iPhone. Ain’t that always the way?

Anyone else have anything they want to confess?

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