Oh boy. The pacifier.
My plan was to wean him off the pacifier by his second birthday. It seemed a natural end point, and the pediatric dentist we visited said he also suggested age two. (Though the American Academy of Pediatric Dentists recommends ending pacifier use by age 3.)
But here we are, less than two months till Harry’s second birthday, and he loves his boppy* just as much now as he did when he was an infant.
The pacifier has been an only-in-the-crib item since shortly after Harry turned one. When he wakes up in the morning, he has to put it in the crib, and we go on with our day. He stopped using a pacifier to nap at daycare when he moved to the toddler room at 16 months.
But if he sees the pacifier in his crib (or on the counter or somewhere else), he will ask for it. (And when I say ask, I mean cry. And now that he has a name for it, it is mighty pitiful. “Boppy! Bopppppyyyyyyy!”) Or if he’s in his room, he will reach into the crib and just grab it.
With a new baby on the horizon, I wonder if it’s a battle worth fighting.
He will give it up eventually, right? And since he’s on track verbally, and he only uses it in the crib (and almost never has it in his mouth when I go in to check on him), I figure what’s the worry.
If your child used a pacifier, when did he give it up? Do you wish it had been sooner?
* When we were in Ohio last month, he randomly started calling his pacifier a “boppy.” It’s pretty dang adorable.
My kid is two. She still uses her paci at sleepy times, although she whines for it at other times during the day. I myself was a thumb -sucker for years. The more tactics my mom tried to use to get me to quit, the more desperately I wanted to suck my thumb. So I’m just not making a big deal out of it with my kid. She won’t suck a paci forever, and a paci won’t wreck her teeth the way my thumb did mine.
Jack was 2.5 when we said goodbye to his nah-noo. (That’s what he called it – also adorbs.) I went to Carson City with a wee little 3 month old Taylor for almost a week and Kyle did the dirty work while I was blissfully unaware of the drama.
To be honest, I just didn’t have the heart to instigate the break-up, but it was NO. BIG. DEAL. he fussed some for a couple days when he couldn’t have it at bedtime, but by the time I got home he was totally fine. We talked about it being gone some after the fact, but overall it wasn’t a huge deal.
Johanna, Did Taylor take a pacifier? Was it hard for Jack to see Taylor have one?
Yes, Taylor did and does take a paci, but not really consistently until AFTER we’d weaned Jack off of his. At first, he kind of wanted to steal hers, but we talked about how it was for babies and not big boys and he was a big boy. Occasionally he’ll play and be silly about how he wants hers, or stick it in his mouth, but its just not a thing anymore.
This discussion was a popular one in our ECFE class amongst other moms of 2 year olds. I can’t remember the specific reasoning behind it but the instructor was suggesting not too push it too much around the age of two with taking away the pacifier, especially since he only has it at bedtime.
Good to know. Thanks Karla!
I actually let me daughter have it until she turned 4! The way I saw it was, her pacifier was a comfort item, much like a blanket or a teddy. Most parents wouldn’t dream of taking away a teddy or blanket! She only had it in bed as well. The other thing about my daughter was that she got teeth incredibly late, so I wasn’t as concerned about that. Plus, an individual child and their needs and comforts are different that what a large organization recommends in GENERAL. So just because other people recommend something doesn’t mean you have to do that. (also, I think the 2nd baby thing is definitely a consideration– he might need some comfort once he’s not the baby anymore!). I also felt like once she was 4, she could understand much better why it was time to put them away, and could actually be part of the process, rather than us just enforcing it on her.
Thank you for sharing your story. He does love his boppy (more than his blanket or his monkey), and I feel like he is going to have so many other changes (like moving to a big bed in a different room) that I don’t want to change too much on him at once. I do worry about his teeth though …
Why are you always in my mind when it comes to these posts? Ha!
I set up dozens of “deadlines” to make TJ give up the “binky,” but none of them worked out, and in the meantime we have gotten much more lax about it. He gets it for bedtime/naptime, but he also gets it for changing diapers, and we’ll also let him have it when he wakes up from a nap or is done dinner and we’re having some family TV time before bed. It’s usually in conjunction with his froggy. I was hoping to have the habit broken before the baby comes, but that’s clearly not happening, especially if this next one is also a pacifier-taker. So we’ll stick with age-appropriate binkies (I like NUBY brand), and we’ll hope for the best as we get closer to his 3rd birthday.
I took away the pacifier too early, and my daughter started sucking her thumb instead. And guess what, YOU CAN’T TAKE AWAY A THUMB. Now she’s 3.5 and shows no sign of giving it up, but I’m pretty sure that she would be fine if only I could take it away. So I would give him time, just so the thumb doesn’t took attractive. (I definitely see braces in our future.)
Anthony has incredible sensory needs and loved and I mean loved his pacifier. He was 2.5 when Maria was born and if I had any ideas of taking it away, they were wrecked when he used to just POP hers right out of her mouth! Shortly after he turned three, he started disliking hers and eventually the two or three that he had got bitten through and he just became disinterested when we didn’t get him any new ones. I always thought if he could get rid of his, anyone could get rid of theirs. Maria tested THAT theory and she was FOUR when we got rid of hers. Her dentist kept saying she ‘could tell’ that Maria used a pacifier but never said a word to us about getting rid of it, and she never said anything to Maria, so right before Easter of this year I told her that it was time and after Easter Sunday she wouldn’t have the pacifier anymore and she just stopped.
I agree that it will be difficult to take that away when Harry has so many other changes coming, and you and Aaron too! Go easy on yourself, I would just try to think about these things as guidelines rather than rules.
No advice here, not being a parent, but I am stuck on the “with a new baby on the horizon” part – did I miss something : ) Hope so!
Catherine was older, almost 3, when I got her to give up the binky forever. By that time she was just using it to sleep. Before Joe was born we decided that if we were going to do anything major (get rid of the binky, potty train) then we would either have to do it well before he was born, or after, and I am so glad we waited. His arrival was very disruptive.
I waited until Joe was about 2-3 months old. He did take a pacifier for a little while, though not any longer, and for a bit of time Catherine started hoarding his pacifiers. She wouldn’t put them in her mouth, she would just collect them in a bucket. Weirdo.
Anyway, friends of ours had a baby girl who Catherine adores, and I talked to Catherine about how she was a big girl and didn’t need her binky anymore, but that maybe Baby Lillian would like her binkies (and got Lillian’s parents fully on board with “accepting” the binkies). I just kind of planted the seed about it and one day on the way home from school we started talking about it again and I said, “When do you think you might want to give up your binky?” and Catherine said, “How about tonight?” so we went home, gathered them up and brought them to Baby Lillian, and her mom was great, made a huge fuss of saying thank you to Catherine, she was so generous, etc etc. And that was that! The first night or two was rough but it’s been fine ever since.
We kept D’s binky through her big girl bed transition (age 22ish months) because she is a rule follower and she already knew that her binky was only for when she was in her bed and we thought it would help her with the transition. The transition went smoothly – not sure if we have the binky to thank or not. Then, baby sister was coming soon and we didn’t want to take D’s binky away right before baby sister came, so she ended up keeping it until she was about 32 months. Mostly, I was just tired all of the time from being up in the night with V and that’s why we didn’t bother doing it any sooner. (Baby sister was born when D was 3 weeks shy of age 2.)
When we did finally ditch it, it was HARD. For weeks. And weeks. I suspect if we’d done it sooner it wouldn’t have been so bad. Obviously, there is no way to confirm my suspicions though.
We gave V a completely different looking binky – D had the soothies and V had some other brand that escapes me right now. We took hers away a few months ago at about 21 months. She did great. She needed a little bit of extra cuddles at naptime and bedtime, but that was it. She is still in her crib, but I am confident that a binky would not have kept her in a big girl bed. She doesn’t care about rules like her sister does.
With both, we just had them throw their binkies in the trash in the morning and of course made a huge deal out of what big girls they were. Then if they asked about their binkies, we reminded them that they threw them in the trash and they were big girls and didn’t need them anymore and we were so proud of them.
At the end of the day, YOU know your child the best and you know when is the best time for him and for your family. Don’t worry too much about the dentists, doesn’t EVERYONE get braces anymore anyway?
I’m coming in late on this, but my motto is always, “You don’t judge me, I don’t judge you.” Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about your parenting decisions. I’ve never had to take a paci away because neither one of the girls ever really wanted one. But I assure you, if they did, I wouldn’t take them away until I felt like it was the right time for MY family.
Let Harry have his big boy bed and his paci and his new sister all at once! He’s going to need it. And you and Aaron will too!