Where to begin?
I can’t even remember the beginning. Was it Friday when we first heard of him, or was it sooner? When we started the adoption process? When we found out that biological children would be a hard road for us? Or does it go back farther, to when the world was made and when God set it into motion? It feels that way. It feels like we are very plainly walking out a story that was written before there were stories.
I am pretty sleep deprived, as you can imagine or relate. I haven’t slept for real since Thursday night, when unbeknown to me a young mom in Utah was laboring through the birth of this miracle child. Her child. Our child. Miraculously both.
He’s only been in our custody about 24 hours, but it is hard to remember when he wasn’t.
I know all of that sounds cliche and silly, but maybe that’s because there are no words, no real words, to explain it.
I wish I could describe to you the change in my husband. In some ways, it has been subtle. In others, a radical shift.
Today we went to Wal-Mart (hate) to pick up a few things, and he actually grabbed one of those sanitizing wipes and wiped off the cart handles. I was shocked. I started laughing and asked when he had ever sanitized anything and he laughed and said, “Well a lot of things are different now.”
That they are.
We are in love. It is as simple and plain as that.
The fear in me keeps whispering that this cannot be for real nor for keeps. And though it is unlikely, it is possible that he is not ours for keeps. That is the reality of adoption.
Because he is part Native American, there is a third layer to relinquishment. Rarely do they go against a birthmom’s choice, but it is legally possible.
So for however long he is ours to love we will love him. Beyond that even. Harry has worked his way into our hearts, and I see now, with only the sight that God can give, that He was working our stories toward one another from the very beginning. From before there was a beginning.
adoption, harryPsalm 139
1-5: You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.13-16: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.














what a beautiful post! –Michelle (honeydew1894)
hat a beautiful new gift from the Lord you have- God Bless- praying for safe travel home!!!!!!!!!
Oh, so lovely and perfectly stated.
What a beautiful child you have. He is just a wonder to behold.
Giant honking tears.
Congratulations! What a tremendously beautiful family you make – your joy brings tears to my eyes and makes me newly grateful for my own gifts. I am wishing you some restorative sleep and a lifetime of blessings with your sweet boy.
LOVE this. every single piece. ((hugs))
Yep, totally crying here too.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Love that picture of Aaron.
Oh indeed they have changed Mr. Aaron Awesome. I can’t think of a time when I loved my husband more than when I saw him fall in love with our son. I am thrilled for you to have your boy and to be head over heels for him. We love you guys!
Hey! Just wanted to say congratulations! He’s beautiful. I know he will be your dreams come true. Good Luck, mama.
Congratulations! What a beautiful son you have.
Oh the tears continue! So beautifully written Johanna. Love and hugs as you continue on your journey! There are so many people praying and loving little Harry right now! Amazing!
Beautiful words, Johanna. I love him. So happy for you and Aaron.
He is absolutely gorgeous. I am so happy that the 3 of you found each other xxx
Congratulations Johanna! How beautiful! I kinda wish I read this at home instead of work because I am stuck in my office until I compose myself- crying at work is embarrassing! All of my best to you, Aaron and Harry!
Cheers! Congrats to the new and growing family – enjoy the adventure!
Crying. That is EXACTLY how it feels. 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 years, forever, all at the same time. It took me about a week (when we got home) to really, REALLY feel like we might get to keep him. And it was only then that I cried. Love. Pure and simple.
That picture of Aaron is the BEST ever. Ever. Sooooooo happy for all three of you, and for birth momma too. Enjoy him! Enjoy each other! Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh, congratulations—what a sweet, beautiful baby boy! This post took my breath away…
He is absolutely precious – I wish you all the best!