The old adage says that opposites attract, and I am learning that not only is that old adage true, it’s true for a reason.
What good would it do me if Aaron were just like me? (Without being too self-deprecating, let me just say simply not much.)
And the reverse is true as well: were I like Aaron it wouldn’t do him much good.
We finish each other out where the other is weak. We have different strengths that make our married household run smoother and more effciently than our respective bachelor(ette) households. For certain.
The other night he’d printed out a whole tree’s worth of home study paperwork and trying to decipher it all made me so instantly overwhelmed that I wanted to bury myself under a paper blanket. He said, “This doesn’t seem so bad to me. I had to compile more than this for our mortgage!” And I thought in that moment how glad I was that, in so many ways, we are so different.
How are you and your spouse different? Is the phrase “opposites attract” true in your marriage as well?
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Yes, it is absolutely true in our marriage. We both joke about how if we met someone with our exact personality, we wouldn’t like them much (read: stubborn or a people pleaser) because we would clash with ourselves. It’s a very good thing we are so different.
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So true! He listens, I talk. I love words, he loves numbers. He’s calm and steady while I’m a bubble head. We’re a perfect fit!
I am seeing how this is so true. I just finished dating a guy that was JUST-LIKE-ME in so many ways. (He was like the male version of myself!) And it was, though nice at first (same interests, etc), it turned out to be a disaster and we were both stubborn and didn’t want to back down. We were too much alike. If a couple is too much alike, what is the need for the other? We are all incomplete and we need someone to fill in those gaps.
I think Rob and I are actually very similar in some ways. I don’t know if this is an oldest child thing, since we both are the oldest, but we are both a little bossy, a little stubborn, and we are both a little scatterbrained and absent-minded. However, I think we do work well together because we have varying degrees of those aforementioned personality traits, so where one is weaker the other is stronger.
In addition, the household stuff he likes to do or doesn’t mind doing is usually the stuff I loathe doing, and vice versa.
I knew we would work out, though, the first time we went to the movies and bought a box of Skittles. He told me he likes the purple and the orange kinds the best, and I said, “Oh, that’s perfect, because I like the yellow and the green kinds the best!” We divide it up, split the reds, and everyone is happy.
I think of it more as we balance each other out than being opposites. I think we are similar in many ways (and, most importantly, have identical values) but our personalities balance and compliment one another – Jeff has become more open minded and I have become kinder. And whereas I am the realist, Jeff is the dreamer.
Meghan, I love the Skittle story. Just last week, I told Jeff that one of my favorite things about him is that he doesn’t like pickles because, that way, I always get an extra.